This is where i stand NOW..

SOOOO....

I'm back to normal...not that i was ever normal...more like back to being mee....:)))yeyyiii

lets say i'm back to being the extra-ordinarily normal meeee...:D

sooo studies are coming back to me...and i'm having fun..wasting less time...and i take time to play and also talk to people more often...sooo yeah...i'm getting back on-track...not really there....but i know i'm getting there....

1 more week for my friends to come back...and i survived two LONGGGG..months without them around..i guess this wasteful vacation did make me realize how much i love working and studying and the whole exhausted feeling of being buried in studies...i like it in a totally normal way...:P

sooo far..life is going easy...except....some stuff...:))

well lets see...this is what it is...Where i stand...

1st year Med student...doing well sooo far...looking all good...:)))

Torn away from my awesome friends who loved me to death and who practically was around me to help me out of all the crazy things i get into...the type of friends who finishes your sentences for you..and who were just a text away...

And sometimes it's hard to keep in touch with them...i dont blame them...but life sure is crazy....

It sometimes blindly throws you out..and you have to sort of start all over again..

It's kind of fun you know...building up your own identity...and all...

Then life i guess is also trying to make me realize that i have to step out of my comfort zone...the friends who knew me...well enough to help me out even without asking....because i feel really uncomfortable asking people for help...but i'm always ready to help anyone else...

Sooo life is playing this cruel trick on me...asking me to open up and make close friends like i used to have...and to live life with them...sooo i'm going to do that...hopefully...

Because i guess it's time to change a little bit..change is a good thing sometimes...:)))

And then i have to realize certain things about this KIDS issue...

I have to confide in a girlfriend...because sometimes boys dont think like girls...and girls think a lot right...soo I've decided to open up to someone...who can probably help me out with the different stuff i stumble upon...

who said life and Love is easy right...

And i kind of hinted to my mum....about the KID...and so did he to his parents...:S

My Mum...likes the KID a lot...BUT ...the age...she was concerned,,,she said that since i'm the elder one it's going to be really difficult for me later in life...to think about it a lot...her exact words were..."Putha think about it ...i dont want you to get hurt...people will cause problems for you..laugh at you...and since it's a TWO year gap i dont think his parents will like it..."

:((((

well...now i dont know...

she also said..."Putha he is a nice boy..i like him a lot...i wish he was your age or elder..i really do...but think about it...before you do something.."

Usually when a mum says think about it..it means they are scared for you..and that they want to protect you...so they dont like it...:((she said she was sad that the KID is so much younger to me...

The KIDS's Parents...."She is a lovely girl...only if she was younger.."

Big sigh...so i still didn't tell the kid how hurt i am of this...since he is all psyched up about coming back to see mee.after not being around for 2 months...

This is where i stand???

what do i doo???

What do i say????

All i know is...i like my life right now...and i have realized the meaning of ..

"Dont let yourself go...everybody cries...and everybody hurts..."

So...i'm blank right now..i mean...i'm just gonna live life...and really live it...enjoy it...no matter what...time lost cannot be taken back...

And People are the most important...you can relive the memories that you treasure the most...sooo i'm going to make more memories...loads of them...

KID and ME..i really dont know...may be i will talk to him...and see..what we can do...:(((

it's just one side of life...

what do you think???

Big hugs to all...i guess we all hit the rough bottom sometimes...this is to all those times...

God Bless...

This is not me... :S

I have been rudely ignoring you all...because i have been out and busy...not the type of busy-ness where you are working sooo hard on some humanitarian project...or... definitely NOT studying....

Well i have been up and about....i have been out a lot...on movie nights, sleep overs, badminton tournaments...and even tried my hand at basketball...hehehe...yeah..i have been all school girly the past few weeks trying to spend the final weeks of my summer vacation..or rather the only vacation i might get for the next 5 years of my life....more simply and with the little things...

I realized that sometimes to have the best times of my life i do not need money or fancy long trips that needs extensive planning...All i need is a healthy dose of humor...a nicee bunch of friends who are willing to have a good time and activities...which may vary from cooking naan for dinner to playing basketball..or watching horror movies back to back till dawn...:)))

Yes i absolutely agree with the person who said that the best things in life are free.....:)))

And there is more..This is definitely not me...i'm a PERFECTIONIST...yes in Capitals...I even have my life plans blocked out as 5 year plans so that i know clearly where i want to be exactly in a given period of time...

And i do not waste time...like this..The normal me would be preparing for my next semester now..and reading all the study material ....or more like that is, what i know i should be doing...

And right now...it's late and i'm not falling asleep...which is also weird...:)

And i'm thinking...i guess women do think a lot...but i think A LOT...and more deeply...

I'm thinking...i started my dream career by entering uni...but can i afford to complete it???...mum says she will somehow....

can i afford to pay myself on studying PG later...

Where will i be...will i be able to write PLAB,USMLE...can i afford it???

What about all the plans i made about taking care of my mum one day...when will i ever get there..

And i think time is running too fast...i mean i'm OLD...:(..i just started uni and my friends are graduating next year....soooo yes they did Londons....but yet....

And This is not me because i do not think like this...I think positive....

I am this strong willed..iron strong...confident person...

I was never weak or vulnerable like this....

WHATS HAPPENING..

And alsoo...i'm fallen for the KID...like A LOT...and it's confusing..because i have never let anyone in to my life like this...I am a very closed up person...

and i kinda mess up a lot of things between the KID and me...because of my stupid mouth and my ignorance...

I was Miss-know-it-all....Goody-two-shoes...i was not supposed to be dating a guy two years younger to me...and wasting my time...

I should have my priorities set right...

Ok sooo may be i'm like totally fallen for him and nothing matters when it comes to him...i only wish he was around...and not like a many thousands of miles away...he would know to make me feel better....

Right now...i do not know..why i'm not falling asleep....

Is it because....i need to know that the KID still loves me...for the Stupid person i'm turning out to be...(I am this Perfect person....)

Is it because i am seriously concerned about my future and the word Money that is determinedly trying to dash my dreams and expectations...

Is it because i'm completely going insane...

But all in all...after writing this i feel a bit better...

I have been through Hell to get here...so yeah I'm not gonna break down now...

i will be fine..i will be back to the normal me...

The crazy-love-hungry-perfectionist....this is just a phase...

I will have a nicee chat with my mum and the KID..

AND i will know that people love me like i love them...and that the world is indeed not such a bad place after all....

Love me people...:)))coz i sure do love you all..

Gone totally insane...but still smiling..

God Bless..

This is the Song...for mee..for the day...gets you thinking...

I want to be a Billionaire...:D

ok...soooo

Lets say that some people have various ways of letting off their steam..some just meditate..(boring..for me...cant sit in one place...never could..:P..)some take up Yoga..(Still cannot...not the flexible kind..)..Some do intense training..(Like Boxing..love my knuckles too much)..some watch Movies..(I doo sometimes)..Some eat chocolate and ice cream..(Love doing this..main consequence...next whole week you have to watch out your food...because you put-on and it's no fun,,) AND some Go Shopping...(My favorite as well as a favorite of a real close friend of mine...*you know who you are...wink..wink..)

Well and as you know..since i have time to kill...and the determination to see the country as much as possible during the holidays...we went off to a shopping district...LILO..

Main purpose...Buy my friends winter jackets..

Four girls along with one guy...poor fellow..he was just too bored to stay at home so opted to come with us..i guess he just didn't know what he bargained for..

The boy was given the responsibility in finding the Metro and bus route...as apparently this place is like an hours travelling out of the city...and we heard that the place is BIG and that you can get anything there...for quite a cheap price...

Yes the magic word..Cheap...:))))

and why did i goo???because i needed to take my steam off....a pair of simple Polaroid shades..:))..innocent right???

The big question..why buy winter jackets in the middle of the blood boiling skin burning heat...because...during the season the clothes are way too expensive....way to expensive to fit in to the limited budget of a parent funded med student...:(((

So we compromise to give our parents a break and try to make do...you know what i mean right..

So we meet up at 9am at the metro station..my roomie and i had rice for breakfast because we knew that we might need all the energy in the world...:))

The boy was on time...but he was too lazy to cook and was starving..

The other two..same story..

We ask the boy directions..

He said, we need to take the metro to Wagsal station..get down... change the metro and get into the other one and head to Isani..and then take a MachuteCar..(Mini-bus...kind of like Vans...you get in Georgia for reasonably short distance travelling out of main cities)..But as usual..he didn't know the number...or to which direction we should go..left or right...hehehe...typical...why did we ask a boy to get directions...and since every board and bus direction plate were written ONLY in Georgian..OMG...it felt awesome...hehehe..

Anyway..we set off...went to Isani safely...got out..everyone...was wishing so badly for a Saiwar kade...or a kottu joint...and my tummy was practically Screaming for hoppers or string hoppers with kiri hodi and sambol...ooohhh..how we take Sri Lankan food for granted...

But instead had to go to a cafe..and eat yucky Shawarma..i mean it's not bad...but that's all this country has got for you know on the go food..and we have eaten our share of it..and is kind of really sick of it...

and we headed off...asking everyone on the way in sign language...the number to go to LILO...thats the name of the trade city..and finally got in to number 236..:)))

And these tiny things go super fast...i'm sure we were doing around 90 to 100 Kph...AND it was coool...we went along the way spent 80 Tetri...(Currency here...Amounts to just..0.43 USD..) and arrived safe..and whole..lol..

It was like a place around 5 times of Pettah..the amount we saw...and when you enter the by lanes...you figure it's this HUGE MAZE of absolute bliss for a shopoholic like me...or for any girl..

The Clothes...

The Shoes...

The Tincklets...

The Boots...

The everything..

So we shopped..more like window shopped...stopping here...stopping there...touching something...going to buy something..then being fiercely pulled away from something..pointing and walking...

The Clothes..beautiful...i need to come up with a better word..tiny pink shorts to gorgeous sun dresses to amazing tube evening gowns to chic skinny jeans...there were countless times when my friends had to come back looking for me...because i was day dreaming in front of some dress..in a shop..:))))hehehe..

The shoes...cuee bubblegum colored canvasses...lovely sleek heels..and then it caught my eyes..SEXY BOOTS...ohh yes...i said it...they were awesome..and i made up my mind..I'm going to let my steam off buying SEXY BOOTS and Shades..

Since i anyway needed a pair for winter..i thought you know...may be it's for future use..and tempted the other ladies into eying the boots..and it worked...to the utter dismay of the tired worn out boy...who has been walking around with us for over three hours wondering why on earth we have not yet bought anything...lol

How can you decide when you are in this breath taking place full of material beauty and temptation that God and Buddha warned us about..hehehe...Boys never get it anyway..:P

Found Jackets...But they were way beyond our budget..they were like 300Lari to 600 Lari around (200 USD to 500 USD)..way out...

Sad heartedly we gave up..knowing that after 5 hours of walking through this maze ...that it was useless....but i was restless...i needed to let my steam off..and plus the girls had to buy the winter jackets...

Soo we headed off in another bumpy but high speed 1.20 Lari ride back to Wagsal...square..a place like Pettah..but not as varied and huge like LILO...

and here we found...

SEXY BOOTS..

and can you guess it..

Yes i bought..i bought Sexy boots...for 45 Lari...and sent a text to my mum after buying it..hehehe...Because i didn't want to spoil the moment...with my greatest newfound treasure...:)))

and i like the tempting devil made my friends buy boots too...and the spree for Jackets were thus forgotten..

All in all i need to mention that today was one of those rare days i really wanted to be rich..

I was thinking as i glimpsed each item i wanted to buy...what if i had money..not that i dont..but more than enough...just more...like i would have bought a truck load of stuff from LILO... because there were things to buy and to walk away from such a place buying nothing is like shopping suicide...but i guess it teaches us control...spoils us little less...and makes us appreciate life a little bit moreee...

But i almost cried when i walk out on those dresses and shoes....i badly wanted to be a billionaire as shallow as it may seem..we all come across these days...

And i know what exactly this guy was thinking when he thought this song out...

Billionaire...check it out...

God Bless...

Let your steam out...sometimes...it actually gets you thinking...with a cost..:(((

hehehehe

Enjoy..

Holidays...???fun????

The advantages of two of your flat-mates going home for the vacation...you get TWO beds...clamp it together and you get ONE BIG BED..you get an extra pillow...yeeeeyyyyiii..and a whole room to yourself..to stay in as you wish...:))))

The disadvantages...in the middle of the night you miss her snoring..when you get up countless times in the night scolding her to adjust her pillow so that she would stop it...the random talks you have until someone falls asleep.the getting up in the morning together... figuring it's too early and go back to sleep again...the absolute boredom that surrounds you because you have no-one around to bug...:(((

well..it has been long since the pals left...the guys and girls...but i'm doing fine...really bored but that dosen't mean i sit here all day ...doing nothing..lol...sometimes i dooo.

the usual days run like this..

1. wake up at 7am..figure it's too early..sleep till 11am and get up.

2. walk about...brush teeth..drink milk and start cooking lunch.

3.watch a movie..read a book..

4. eat at 5pm.

5.watch another movie..tv series...

6.go online..facebook..barn buddy..(yes i actually started playing it coz i have nothing else to doo)..skype..chat...etc.

7.dinner at 11.

8.watch movies and read till like 5am..

9. sleeep...

hehe i knowwww..what a time waster right...but i have promised myself that from tomorrow it's going to be more productive.and i'm going to stick to it..

the productivity schedule..

1.get up at 8am..go jog(need to get all the fatness off)

2.10am read

3.start going through my course work..:(((..have to keep up with studies..

4.cook and eat

5.watch something

6.go for a walk

7.go through course work

8.chat...facebook...skype..barn buddy..(cant give up now can i??..lol)

9.read

10.sleep by 2am..hopefully before..

wish me luck..hope i stick to this..

God Bless..

Enjoy..:)))

Sweet Partings...!!!

ok...soo let me tell you this..

One semester down..NINE more to go...shooot...thats alot...

but i will get there....these five years might fly by just as this semester flew...right???

sooo no worries...

If you remember how i complained to all saying that the winter and spring was horrible...how we were freezing to death..

Well summer...is WORSE..

i think i know now how i'm going to die...i'm going to die melting...like literally..melting...

The temperature here is like between 40 to 45 degrees and it's warm...as soon as you open the windows the warmth hits on your face and literally burns your skin...

soo i spend most of my time applying moisturizing lotion.. taking a few baths per day..and applying tonics on my face...coz now my face has begun burning...it's bad..i'm scared that i might like get red blotchy patches all over it...My smile is the only talk-able feature i have for myself...*sniff...sniff..

The most funny thing was...the other day one of my friends here in Georgia has updated his facebook status saying..."Stupid heat..i sweat while i bath...and now i sweat while i eat.."...hehehe..thats how bad it is...

This is the time you miss paradise...where everything is evenly balanced...but i heard it's warm out there as well...but still not this bad i suppose...

Well right after exams...We had this awesome celebration...

Where all of us Sri Lankans got together at a nearby park...AND...we bought loads of coke..and chips...ate..and sang baila...and decided to play...

We played Hide and seek in the vast park...

Let me tell you the places i hid..

Beneath Cars...under trees..behind trees..on the grass...under bushes...etc..

Some boys even managed to climb trees...:PPP

The catcher had to touch the person...then the person who is caught becomes an additional catcher...therefore...when Rey and i were hiding under the car with Seu..she got spotted...sooo Rey and i ran out to the road..into an apartment building with around 6 boys trailing after us...and got onto a lift...hehehe...got out on the 6th floor to be caught by two very annoyed boys...hehehe...

sooo it was fun...at the end of the day..we all had bruises...i had a cut across my face...where i hit a tree...hehehe..i know..i didn't see the tree in front of me...ok..it was dark..and plus i lost my hair band...

the boys had torn shirts due to their tree climbings ...scraped knees and elbows...

girls had messy hair with grass... scratched palms...knees...and torn jeans...

But it was worth it...we played till 2 am..and decided to head home...

Because the next day...Since Uni vacation started...More than half of them were going home for the LONG TWO MONTH SUMMER HOLIDAYS...

As you can imagine..i was one of the unfortunate few who was going to be left behind..

I know the boys were looking forward to going home..to eat a proper Sri Lankan rice and curry meal...to meet up with friends....to not do house work...to totally get pampered and all.

The girls wanted a break....a hug from their dad and lovely food...lots of love and family trips...

My clan was going..all of them...my Boys...who always pampered me...took me around...all of them were going home...:(((

The two new girl pals i made..they were going home tooo...:(((

I could have gone home as well...but my mother told me not to come this year...because there are some people who wouldn't like to see me back at home...scary right...:(((..it's a whole new story...will tell you on another day...

The others i realized couldn't afford the Rs.136,000.00 airfare...:(((life is cruel and unfair...

sooo i will have to wait exacly 15 months to see my mother again...:(((

May be God has a plan...

Soo i spent one sleepless night...wondering how much can change during the next two months...

two of my roommates were leaving soo it was going to be only Me and another girl CP..at our apartment..

I mean...We got to know each other...and made these strong bonds of friendships during just 4 and a half months...after 2 months of being apart....will i be a stranger...

:(((

stupid right..but then again..i was seriously depressed that night...had a chocolate bar to relieve myself...:)))

In the next afternoon everyone who was to leave and who was saying good byeeee.. assembled at one apartment..we hired a bus to take them all together to the Airport...

All bags were loaded..teary eyed goodbyees were said...:((

most left..back to their own apartments...and I with my roommate..and 3 seniors who were leaving the next day and another boy from our batch stayed back..

The boys requested that we ride with them to the Airport...there was no room...sooo i stayed back..the four boys found places in the bus...

and my friend squished in...

.............................................................

i was thinking may be i should go home...but the Boys made sure i was in the bus..and i had to sit on the lap...hehehe..of the KID...

Saying goodbye was always hard for me...but that ride to the Airport knowing that i wont be seeing these jolly faces for another 60 days hurt a lot...but i'm not a crying person...soo i just enjoyed the good cheer that was inside the hearts of everyone there who knew that they were going to the best place on earth..BACK HOME..

Many times did my friends remind me that they will keep in touch..

not leave me alone...will keep me updated...

Promised me tons of chocolate...which really cheered me up..

and the hugs i got ..the flying kisses from across the bus...which flew to me...made me realize..that may be God is giving me too much love...but i'm definitely not complaining..:)))

The Kid with constant tugs at my hand...secret smiles..re-assured me in his own way that he is not going to change...but honestly i had my doubts then...:S

At the Air port...we all got down...checked in...sent the luggage and we got to hang around for like half an hour...

This time i honestly wanted to take the KID's ticket...and tear it into million pieces...or steal every one of my friends tickets and run away and hide...

Honestly i almost did it...and then got caught..

:((((

Well with warm Squshi huggs..Loving kisses..and long good byees...My boys and girls left ...

They were going home..

But then again..in exactly 60 days they will be back...

That's the silver lining in my dark cloud..:)))

Sooo let the countdown begin...

God Bless...

Smile Alwaysssss..:))

Proud to be back..:)

Hey everyone....i know..i know..

I have disappeared for quite sometime...but i kinda needed the time...out...

I faced my semester-ends...and for that i needed all the energy that i could muster...

I had the most awful yet the most rewarding 3 weeks ever...

Had exams nicely scattered over this period..with at least 2 day breaks between subjects...

Sooo the daily ritual went on like this...GENERALLY..

4 or 3 Days Before the certain subject paper - Wake up at 9 am.. idly find the notes..fill them up and sleep at 9pm.

2 Days before the paper - Finally get worked up...wake up at 7am..catch the 8.00am metro to my friends house.wake them up and study.(a.k.a. cram...:P)

Go home at 7 pm.

1 Day Before the paper...wakes up at 7am..take the 8am metro to the friends place..they are already up..study till 5pm.

Start the group discussion which goes off till around 2am ON EXAMINATION DAY...I know...we always thought to start the discussion early...but we never seem to get to it...coz ...we never finish anything on time..

Boy drops me home..

Exam Day...Wake up...pack the bag...recite the rosary all the way to my seat at the examination hall..

9am written exam starts...

12 noon break...

1pm..oral examination starts...

5pm..YOU GET THE RESULTS...FINAL RESULTS...(ADDITION OF ALL CLASS ACTIVITIES AND MIDTERMS..:(((()

6pm..uni lobby.... scolds the whole family of the examiner and the person who set the paper...

Comforts friends..

Vows never to cram again...

Grabs something to eat...

7.30pm..text mum with the results...gets appropriate reply..

Usually..a big...What happened to the other .....marks...???:(((

8.30PM..watch a movie...and sleep...

Lol...thats how it went..

sooo i didn't have time to come online...

But all the hard work paid off i guess...

I GOT A'S FOR ALL THE SUBJECTS...

Came in 1st in my class...:)))

And 2nd in the batch...6 marks less than the smart guy who came first and a tie with the KID...:P..

hehehe...sooo all is sunshiny and the word is painted in rainbow colors now....for me.....

Since i have no brothers and sisters to share the good news with...i thought i would bore you guys will all this...

Coz i'm happy as a blue bird and nothing that anyone can say can spoil my mood right now...

Thank you...for my amazing study partners...if it weren't for our discussion sessions and your encouragements i would never have gotten this far...

Thank you for my brand-new 2 girl-pals...Rey and Seu...you guys are amazing..

Thank you for all of you readers...you guys inspired me...

Proud to be back...

AND I'M SMILING..

loads to tell...

Hope you guys missed me...:PPP

God Bless..