This is not me... :S

I have been rudely ignoring you all...because i have been out and busy...not the type of busy-ness where you are working sooo hard on some humanitarian project...or... definitely NOT studying....

Well i have been up and about....i have been out a lot...on movie nights, sleep overs, badminton tournaments...and even tried my hand at basketball...hehehe...yeah..i have been all school girly the past few weeks trying to spend the final weeks of my summer vacation..or rather the only vacation i might get for the next 5 years of my life....more simply and with the little things...

I realized that sometimes to have the best times of my life i do not need money or fancy long trips that needs extensive planning...All i need is a healthy dose of humor...a nicee bunch of friends who are willing to have a good time and activities...which may vary from cooking naan for dinner to playing basketball..or watching horror movies back to back till dawn...:)))

Yes i absolutely agree with the person who said that the best things in life are free.....:)))

And there is more..This is definitely not me...i'm a PERFECTIONIST...yes in Capitals...I even have my life plans blocked out as 5 year plans so that i know clearly where i want to be exactly in a given period of time...

And i do not waste time...like this..The normal me would be preparing for my next semester now..and reading all the study material ....or more like that is, what i know i should be doing...

And right now...it's late and i'm not falling asleep...which is also weird...:)

And i'm thinking...i guess women do think a lot...but i think A LOT...and more deeply...

I'm thinking...i started my dream career by entering uni...but can i afford to complete it???...mum says she will somehow....

can i afford to pay myself on studying PG later...

Where will i be...will i be able to write PLAB,USMLE...can i afford it???

What about all the plans i made about taking care of my mum one day...when will i ever get there..

And i think time is running too fast...i mean i'm OLD...:(..i just started uni and my friends are graduating next year....soooo yes they did Londons....but yet....

And This is not me because i do not think like this...I think positive....

I am this strong willed..iron strong...confident person...

I was never weak or vulnerable like this....

WHATS HAPPENING..

And alsoo...i'm fallen for the KID...like A LOT...and it's confusing..because i have never let anyone in to my life like this...I am a very closed up person...

and i kinda mess up a lot of things between the KID and me...because of my stupid mouth and my ignorance...

I was Miss-know-it-all....Goody-two-shoes...i was not supposed to be dating a guy two years younger to me...and wasting my time...

I should have my priorities set right...

Ok sooo may be i'm like totally fallen for him and nothing matters when it comes to him...i only wish he was around...and not like a many thousands of miles away...he would know to make me feel better....

Right now...i do not know..why i'm not falling asleep....

Is it because....i need to know that the KID still loves me...for the Stupid person i'm turning out to be...(I am this Perfect person....)

Is it because i am seriously concerned about my future and the word Money that is determinedly trying to dash my dreams and expectations...

Is it because i'm completely going insane...

But all in all...after writing this i feel a bit better...

I have been through Hell to get here...so yeah I'm not gonna break down now...

i will be fine..i will be back to the normal me...

The crazy-love-hungry-perfectionist....this is just a phase...

I will have a nicee chat with my mum and the KID..

AND i will know that people love me like i love them...and that the world is indeed not such a bad place after all....

Love me people...:)))coz i sure do love you all..

Gone totally insane...but still smiling..

God Bless..